anged My Life
What’s so wrong with being happy? Artwork by Brandon Boyd, Incubus.
I still remember it so vividly and I’ll explain why in a minute…
I was walking home in the rain. After an evening that involved just a little too much alcohol. I was working in the City of London for a high end re-insurance firm.
I’d been out with my friends. All high fliers. Sharp minds. Movers and shakers. They had almost adopted me as one of their own and we spent most nights “living it up” in swanky restaurants and private clubs.
But I wasn’t *really* one of them.
They were well educated, highly paid professionals – I had no education to speak of.
And I was the office assistant.
The lowest grade, full time position in the entire company. I was 29.
The Everyday Pressure Of The Job
I remember how I felt as I walked. I wouldn’t call it depression, it was a kind of melancholy.My head was getting wet and cold, but I felt like I needed it.
I told myself it was nothing to worry about. Just the pressure of the job. I wasn’t alone. Even though my colleagues were the ones with the huge salaries and the Oxford degrees, they still needed “a few drinks” to ease the pressure. Every night.
What happened next would change everything
Despite the rain, I put on my headphones. And I listened to a song that would spark an idea. An idea that would change my world.The song that turned it all around for me was called “Warning” by the band Incubus. It’s from their album Morning View.
Little did I know, as a lowly assistant, walking home on that cold, wet, slightly drunken night, that I would go on to collaborate with the singer of that band, Brandon Boyd. And he would thank me for the fun opportunity!
The Idea That Made All The Difference
I’d like to share with you the words from Brandon’s song that changed me that night…What’s so wrong with being happy?Hearing those words, over and over was a trigger for me. People think that change is a long slow process, but it isn’t.
She woke in the morning, she knew that her life had passed her by.
She called out a warning, don’t ever let life pass you by.
NOT changing, is a long slow process. But when you make a new connection in your mind, change happens in an instant.
In that instant, I felt deep down that I could do better. That the path I had chosen, a path with the promise of riches, but little happiness was, the wrong path for me.
I knew I needed to trust my intuition. I knew I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. I knew, I needed to feel a little fear, but take some action anyway.
I knew, right then, that I was the only one who had the power to make a change in my life. And I was good enough to give myself that opportunity.
Silk, Champagne and Crystal
I wrote my resignation that very night. I handed it in the next day.About a week later, a friend from the firm held a going away party for me.
I remember sitting on his silk covered couch, holding a glass of Champage in a crystal flute and thinking about his carpet.
He had a ridiculously expensive carpet. It was made from the woven belly fluff of albino dragons. Or something.
So, his house rule was, you could only drink champagne. It was the only thing that wouldn’t stain the carpet in the event of a spillage. And we tended to drink a lot in his house.
Looking at his carpet I felt a twinge of doubt. Was I leaving behind a lifestyle that maybe I could be a legitimate part of one day?
I wasn’t sure. It was like the white carpet was staring back at me. Challenging me – Is this what success is really all about, Champagne and carpets too expensive to walk upon?
Deep down, I didn’t think so. I was hoping not. But I was also praying I wasn’t throwing it all away.
The support (and envy) from my friends gave me hope. They seemed genuinely happy that I was heading off on a new adventure. And for a while, they recalled the adventures they had taken, in years gone by. Or planned to take, in years to come.
But as my leaving party wore on, I noticed the old tribe seemed to close ranks. The conversations turned to work. To the firm. And I watched a house full of wealthy, intelligent and apparently successful people get even more drunk than usual.
I felt alone and a little sad that evening. But the next day, I would be catching a train that would take me to a new life…
Sea, Surf and The Other Extreme
My train would arrive in Swansea. A small city in Wales. There was sea, surfers and art school.I had tasted the melancholy that can come with doing work with no soul. Work, for the sake of money.
So I had jumped on the pendulum and swung with it, with all my might, to the other extreme. At 29 I was going to University. And I was going to be creative.
This had been a lifelong dream, for reasons I may share in the future. And here I was. I started on a graphic design course, then jumped over to fine art. For nearly 4 years I lived with creativity and creative people in this low stress city by the sea.
I loved every minute of my time. Living as an almost starving artist. Of course there were grants and student loans. And I learned every trick in the art student book when it came to living on the cheap.
The work was pure indulgence. Like many others, my art would be my therapy. I was totally free. To play. To experiment.
Oblivious to the world going on outside University. Not for a single instant, on my 4 year course, would I hear a tutor approach the subject of how a creative person was supposed to make a living AFTER university.
How Subvert Magazine was born
One piece of paper: Published.
You see, within weeks of finishing our degree’s, I saw dozens of my friends abandon their creative dreams to work minimum wage jobs.
No one could blame them. The grants were gone, the loans spent and the rent had to be paid.
But it was almost as if, the last 4 years had been a dream. And now they, we, were facing the real world with no commercial survival skills. At all.
I couldn’t stand by and watch it happen
Subvert became a mission:-To Subvert the voices that said “you can’t do that”, “that’s not realistic”, “it’s time to get back to the real world”. “you’re not good enough”.
Some of those voices came from outside. Some from within.
I had a cause and I took it to the streets. I collaborated with artists, film makers, photographers, writers, designers and entrepreneurs.
I brought people together for creative mash-ups. I interviewed people who were making a good living from their creativity. And I interviewed creative employers to find out what they were looking for when they interviewed.
I’d never done anything like this. It scared me. And it MADE me.
I’d never done any of this before, but as a mature student, 5-10 years older than many of the people around me, suddenly I had people looking to me for answers. Especially when it came to making money and fast.The creativity, fun and happiness had been plentiful, but money was in short supply.
But in my old world, everyone was wealthy. Making money had always seemed easy for them. It was creativity and happiness that they were struggling to find.
I’d swung from the extremes of one world to another.
Now, It was time for me to bridge those two worlds
But this time I couldn’t get away with hiding as a lowly assistant. It was time for me to become a leader. Something I had never even dreamed of being.So, I stepped up to the plate. I made the hard phone calls. I knocked on the doors of strangers. I did everything I could to find out what it took to make money in the creative world, one of the toughest markets there is.
People told me what I was doing was amazing, but I ignored them at first
I was too busy. Subvert seemed to take on a rhythm of its own. It would take many different forms. And I would collaborate with many different people. Live events. Paper magazines. Behind the scenes opportunities at festivals and concerts. Tutorials with successful bands in their private recording studios.Of course, the collaboration I did with Brandon Boyd, the musician who had helped triggered it all, was a personal highlight.
But so was hanging out with Duff McKagan of Guns and Roses fame (And the last guy to see Kurt Cobain alive). Duff totally turned his crazy, drug fueled and unhappy rock and roll lifestyle around. Now, as well as music, he’s an accomplished martial artist and he writes a Financial column!
Another great moment for me, was being asked to “extra” in a film by one of my other heroes and mentors, Geoff Thompson.
Geoff is an amazing man who went from being a factory floor sweeper and notorious door man, to becoming a BAFTA award winning film maker and inspiring leader.
I’m not recalling these things to boast. In fact, most of these things are private achievements that wouldn’t impress other people. We all have our own personal heroes that mean a lot to us, but not necessarily anyone else.
I share them because, sometimes, I really can’t believe some of the amazing places I’ve been and cool people I’ve met.
One thing I’ve never revealed
We started this story with my time in London as an office assistant. That’s where I made a decision to try something new and it changed my fortunes. But of course my story didn’t really *start* there.When I left school at 15, with no exams whatsoever, I worked as a cleaner!
But that definitely *is* a story for another time. I don’t think I’ve ever revealed that publicly before! And I should really get back to the point of this post :)…
In addition to having some amazing adventures, I’ve also managed to master what I think of as a balanced lifestyle
I get to do work I truly LOVE. It’s creative, fun, challenging. I get to travel and have real adventures with people I’ve admired for years.I have real freedom. Me and Paul sit down and work out what we’re going to do and when we’re going to do it. We get up when we want. We go to bed when we want. We work when we want. We rest when we want.
Although I no longer live there, we frequently go back to Wales for long surfing weekends, whenever we feel like it. And if we don’t feel like heading home on Sunday night, we just don’t, we stay until the surf dies down or we get tired of BBQ’s on the beach!
Not too long ago, as we were supposed to be heading back from a surfing weekend, Paul drove us down a previously unexplored farm path. (He tends to do that a lot!) We guessed that it ended up at the sea and maybe a virgin surf break we could visit, on our next trip down…
What we actually discovered, was an amazing landscape of pristine sand dunes, inhabited by a herd of about 50 wild horses! We ended up staying, and spending the most magical week. Running with the horses. Up and down miles of deserted beach in the day. And sitting by our campfire, watching the shooting stars at night.
For me, being able to indulge in simple luxuries like that, without even thinking of asking someone else for permission, that’s what makes me feel really lucky now.
Of course it’s not really luck at all
The more time I’ve spent around successful people, the more I’ve learned about making your own luck. The more I learned to think about money and freedom the way that wealthy people do. I can say, hand on heart, that making money is easier than you think. I’d go so far as to say, it’s easy, full stop. Making money and still having *fun* is the one that people really struggle with.It’s important to make that distinction. That’s why we only ever interview and work with people who are living their dreams. Making money, increasing their freedom and doing what they love.
As far as I’m concerned, I’d rather be earning $250k a year with no overheads, lots of freedom and having a ton of freedom and FUN, than earning $250 million doing something I don’t enjoy.
So here’s what I’m coming to, here’s what people are asking me for
Although I “made my bones” in the creative world, for years it’s entrepreneurial types who have been sneaking in the door and emailing – “I’m not a creative but I love your stuff…”I’m cool with that. Paul is from the marketing world and I think his business thinking has been a big influence on me, whilst a little of my creativity has rubbed off on him.
Between the hard core business world and the fun creative world lies a place for idealistic ambitious individuals.
And these days I feel like the solution to this problem needs to come from that in-between place. I feel like the Subvert community is the right place, for this to grow from. I think we’ve managed to create a good balance here.
It’s OK to be successful and creative and have fun and money in the bank.
It’s not about *looking* wealthy. It’s not about a designer carpet and a flashier car. Although there is nothing wrong with those things, they aren’t as important to your happiness as having a rich *life*. Free from the stress of “survival”. Full of freedom and excitement!So, I think the time has come for a new type of product to solve this challenge. And a new form of support, from people who are committed to results.
It’s time for things to change and I’m on a mission to empower people with the tools to make this happen in their own life.
If you’re new here, I’d encourage you to look around, see if your values align with ours. If you think we might be able to help you move closer to your goals, stick around, join us. Maybe the time is right for you to take a new path?
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